


you remind me of true love.

by choosetobefree



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), Pitch Perfect (Movies), Supergirl (TV 2015), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Crossover Pairings, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-10-30 11:17:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17827559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choosetobefree/pseuds/choosetobefree
Summary: Sara Lance, Ava Sharpe, as well as Kara and Alex Danvers are new in college. And how it must be, they go through all the up and downs of a college life, what real friendship means and how the first true love really feels.Ava Sharpe is an introverted fangirl who suffers from social anxiety. She's a big Pitch Perfect Fan and escapes into her Bechloe Fanfiction, when the real world gets too much for her to handle. Due to her roommates sister Alex, she meets the party girl Sara Lance.Sara Lance got hit by her father during her whole childhood, until she left for college. Due to that pain and anger she started drinking and going on parties every night which became an habit. After a rough start with her roommate Alex they get along pretty good and become best friends, maybe a little more?Alex Danvers just wants to be the perfect student and gives everything for that, besides she loves to write poetry and goes to creative writing class with Ava. The professor of that class is Maggie Sawyer, who changes her world completely. She never felt so strong feelings for anyone ever before, especially not for a woman and suddenly she is confused as hell and school doesn't seem like the most important thing anymore.





	1. lets get this thing started.

Ava´s p.o.v.

It´s her big day, the day she´s moving to college, but everything she could think about were the scary new faces she would see, a roommate she probably wouldn´t be able to live with and of course Beca and Chloe. She was always thinking about that two girls.   
They changed her, made her who she is today. (including being super gay of course)  
And they turned her into a crazy fanfiction writer, who already uploaded three different fanfics with over 30k reads and around 50 comments a day, who wants to become a real one one day.

Ava is a person who can´t leave anything unsolved or just to be unproductive for a moment and   
that´s why she´s writing about one chapter a day, just to give her readers what they want and need.  
Sometimes she wrote through the whole night and when her anxiety hit hard sometime she finished more and more chapters, her highscore was five chapters in one night and that was just the night before she and her dad left for college. That was when anxiety hit the hardest she ever had to face.   
School has already been pretty hard for her and every day was a torture, Ava was not sure what would happen if she would leave her comfort zone and moved two hours away from home to a place where she knew literally no one. 

When their really old car rolled on campus like a slug, but with way more sound, she just pressed her face on the window, staring at the giant building, singing Titanium in her head and hoping she could just die right in that minute.   
People were running around like creeps in the big park in front of the big old (really old) building where she would wake up in the morning after, which she would have to call home from now on.  
Other one´s were literally laying on the grass, pressing their ears on the ground, Ava really didn´t want to know what drugs they took. 

And then there were the one´s she lowkey was able to identify with, who just sat in rounds reading big old books, but even if they could be good friends, Ava could never be brave enough to speak up to anyone of them or anyone else at this place.   
As soon as the car stopped, Ava jumped out, grabbed a box of her stuff and sprinted into the building in front of her. All she wanted was to hide in her new room and crawl under the bedcover in her new bed and hope her new roommate would never show up.

Two minutes later she stood in front of dorm number 332, her new home. Somehow she wasn´t able to open the door with the keys she already held in her hands, until her dad showed up with a much bigger box and begged her to open it before the box fell on his feet.   
Ava had to hold back a laugh, because typical for him he took the biggest box which was the one with the about hundred books in it. A writer and fangirl could never live without her book collection! And of course not without tons of merchandise and ten different versions of all the three Pitch Perfect movies.

So even if she did not want to open the door, her dad literally forced her to do it so she put the key in trying to hide the weird shivering of her hand, she didn´t want her dad to worry or stress around like he did some days ago.

“why is your hand shivering? Are you scared? Do you really think you are ready for this?” he would say and then he would try to make jokes about his own college life and how hard it was to make her feel okay for not being ready. Ava doesn´t care how his college life was, he had not been gay, he didn´t felt alone on this world except for internet friends and maybe family, he didn´t had panic attacks every day, he just had not been a weirdo. And of course Ava hated it when he worried about her, doesn´t he get that she WANTS to be ready and could never admit that she´s not? Sometimes she just wished people would take her serious and just believe that she is capable of taking her own decisions. 

It´s difficult if you want to be independent but you´re scared of it at the same time.   
People on the Bechloe Group-chat who had gone through the same used to say things like: “You´re braver than anyone around you, because braveness is about facing your fears and you´re facing your biggest fears every fucking day.” 

Things like that used to make her smile and cry at the same time, but now they just leave me cold, because even if it´s true it doesn´t help if the others don´t see it the same way.  
For Ava this is a chance to show her braveness to the world, or at least to the people who know what a big step college is for her. 

So all this thoughts went through her head before she was able to turn the key and open the door with a loud creeeaaaak. She breathed out relived when she realized that her roommate wasn´t there yet.* puh, this means I can get comfortable before I have to face her. * she thought, but she doubt that it´ll make it any easier. 

The room was way bigger than she thought, there were around six meters between the beds and in front of the windows, exactly fitting in the space between of the beds, were two tables that were big enough for a laptop, books for studying (for school as well as for her stories) and for a tv to watch Pitch Perfect the same time . She always watched it while she was writing or at least listened to the music for inspiration.   
The last thirty minutes with her father went along way too fast, he had to leave early so he would be home soon enough (expecting traffic jams and other coincidences) for his night shift at the hospital. He was a male nurse.

As soon as her dad left Ava put out her tv and laptop and started Pitch Perfect one. She would probably just binge the movies until it was late enough to go to sleep, while anyone else went to their first college party.   
Around the shower scene when Ava was squeaking and screaming she heard the creak of the door and stopped herself from singing titanium out loud. 

“DO I HEAR BECA SINGING TITANIUM THERE?” screamed a light female voice that seemed a bit out of breath. Ava was so shocked she wasn´t able to say a word and just stopped the movie because she felt embarrassed, that girl probably just wanted to make fun of her.   
Ava turned around when a blonde girl entered the room, carrying a box that was even bigger than hers, it seemed even bigger than the girl. 

“oh no, please don´t stop the movie. It´s the best scene!”   
She just pressed the remoter to start it again and Ava could not believe her eyes and ears when the girl started singing along, she just stared at her.

When the scene was over she just shook her head and held her hand out to Ava.   
“oh my god I am so sorry that I haven´t introduced myself, I was just in trance because of Bechloe.   
Hi, I am Kara. You must think I am a total weirdo now.” 

The taller girl still wasn´t able to react, shocked about her roommates, Kara´s reaction.

“Hello are you there?”, Kara asked and waved in front of her face.   
* Okay, now I am clearly a weirdo... * Ava thought but still shook her head and took Kara´s hand.   
“I´m so sorry I just couldn´t believe that my new roommate liked Bechloe. You do like them right? Or did I just got it wrong and you´ll just make fun of me from now on?”, she said and regretted it the same moment * stop being that weird! * She told herself inside her thoughts.

“Girl, I LOVE them! And believe me I am a even bigger weirdo, not just because it is the name of the fandom.”, she winked and then kept on talking. “I mean I´ve once spent an entire weekend reading fanfictions and I think I have already read every single one on fansforfans.com and there are about 100 different stories. Okay I´m gonna stop talking now. Btw, what are you writing there?”

Ava was happy that she talked that much, so she wouldn´t have to say anything herself.   
Kara was leaning over her desk that moment, reading the last few sentences she wrote.   
The one who wrote it already closed her laptop, she had never shown anyone her stories before (except for the 30k people on fansforfans.com) and she was as scared of it as she was of anything else in her life. 

“It´s just a fanfiction, nothing special.”, she said and stood up to start unpacking the rest of her boxes.   
“oh okay, I don´t have to read it if you don´t want me too, but if it is not already on FansforFans I really need to read it because I am running out of hot Bechloe shit.” She still tried to make a joke and chill out the moment, even tho she sounded really confused and then just went out to get the rest of her stuff into the room.

Ava could´ve hit herself when she was laying awake in bed at two that night. Kara was such a nice person, she even liked Bechloe, probably as much as Ava did and she also would´ve understood her. * Why am I like this? * She thought. The blonde couldn´t believe that she had already destroyed her opportunity of a real and good friend- and fanship in college. She was so disappointed of herself, she wasn´t even able to tell her internet-girlfriend about it or to write into the group chat.  
* What if I already talked to Kara once? Or what if if she´s also in the group chat and I just don´t know it yet? *  
At least those thoughts distracted her from thinking about the several panic attacks she would get during the next day in class. 

 

>\---<

 

Sara´s p.o.v.

Sara crawled out of a cab exactly one hour before her first college class ever, still trying to get sober after she partied until 5 am. Her stupid parents probably already brought her stuff to her new room, they couldn´t wait for her to finally go to college, so they would never have to see her ugly face again.

Yup, they had called Sara ugly and stupid and sometimes her father had hit her, sometimes nonsense, sometimes when she came home too late. She didn´t stop doing that of course. Staying away and partying through the nights was the only thing that kept her alive somehow.   
When she came home then he used to grab her shoulders, staring right into her eyes, fire of anger burning in them and then he used to scream. Words she could never forget.

“You stupid slut. You´re not worth of our money and food. You´re NOTHING. You don´t even deserve to be alive.”  
She used to ran into her room then, crying and taking her hidden bottle of vodka, drinking it until the pain was finally gone. It was her only way to work with that.

When she ran up the creaking stairs of the dorm building she couldn´t stop smiling, because she wouldn´t have to see her stupid parents ever again.   
Why going home on Thanksgiving on christmas when you can party?

She didn´t wait even a minute before she bursted the door of her room open, she hadn´t met her roommate yet, but she didn´t really care about what she would think of her, or anyone else to be honest. A tall girl with short curly brown hair was sitting on the bed at the left side of the room, she was staring at some sort of plan, probably her timetable. 

“Hi.”, Sara greeted her shortly while she was searching in the mess of her boxes for something to wear for her first class. She took the first things she had in her hands, a belly free top and skirt that hardly covered her butt. She got undressed right in front of her roommate. Like I said, she didnt gave a shit about what others thought. She could feel the girl´s brown eye´s staring at her, what made her smile. She liked attention from people that weren´t here parents. 

“oh hello.”, the brown haired said after ages. 

“I am Sara by the way. What is your name?”, she said while she pulled on her top and the skirt.  
It took a moment for her weird roommate to collect herself until she was able to answer.

“I am Alex and isn´t that skirt a bit short for your first college class?”, she said directly.  
* Oh wow, I didn´t expect her to be that direct and honest. Who is she to tell me anything?! *

“None of your business.”, the blonde said without any emotions. She left the room without looking back at her. “I have to go.”  
I mean who wants to be late to their first journalism class?

 

>\---<

 

Alex´s p.o.v.

Alex was sitting on her bed, studying her timetable to find out where her creative writing class would be, when her new roommate Sara bursted into the room.  
She hadn´t met her yet, because she probably had partied until some hours ago.   
Alex didn´t really care, because she was so excited for creative writing and for college in general, she waited her whole school time for this. 

She loved new things and she even persuaded her adoptive sister Kara to take another room just so she would get the whole college experience without anything familiar.  
Of course that wouldn´t work out completely, because she would still see her sister in English and they would probably eat together, but still the roommate thing was a pretty big thing in college.   
* Even if the new roommate´s a bitch... *Alex thought when Sara left the room, but nothing was able to piss her off that moment, because she was on her way to fucking creative writing!   
Alex has been writing poetry for years now,but never found the courage to show it to someone, but she still wanted to become a poet one day and creative writing was some sort of the first step in the right direction. 

Alex took her old vans rucksack she already used in Highschool, but still loved it that much that she couldn´t force herself to buy a new one and pulled on her favorite black leather jacket.  
She left her room smiling, as well as the building, but her smile vanished when she entered the main building of campus.  
The floors were full of study halls on the left and on the right and her room number just disappeared  
out of her head and she had only 10 more minutes left to find her class. 

She already started panicking, all she wanted was to make a perfect impression at her important fist class. It just meant the world to her and now she would be late and no one would take her serious.  
She didn´t want to be “the girl that came late to her first class.” That was just not who she was. She was always reliable and got straight A´s in High School to get a scholarship for this, which she would describe as her dream.

Alex was spinning around at one space for about a minute until she searched through her backpack hysterically like a weirdo to find her timetable. It took her eight minutes to find it down under all her stuff and another two to find out that she was just standing in front of her class. Hall 34 was written on her paper and the room in front of her. 

Alex nearly started crying when she found out is her room and that she wouldn´t be later than one or two minutes late. She ran into the hall and of course, everyone except for the professor, was already there and looked at her strangely. There was only one free table left next to a tall blonde girl that was looking a the laptop on her desk concentrated.  
Alex thought about saying something to her, but she just kept quiet.  
She was in this class for learning and not for making friends, even tho she seemed lonely.  
Their teacher was late, around ten minutes or longer, which already pissed Alex off. 

* Now I stressed that much to be on time and the stupid professor can´t even be less than 5 minutes late? And I thought the academical quarter was a joke...she probably thinks she can do everything, because she is a writer *, she thought.  
Alex had enough time to look around and check out her new “classmates” .  
On her left sat a brown haired guy with glasses that seemed like a total nerd. * Probably a Harry Potter fanboy. * Her guess was confirmed when he turned around and reveled his “Gryffindor” shirt.  
She had to hold back a proud smile, her first guesses on other people were always right, she was such a genius at seeing the real person with a short look.

She turned around, she was bored but also hyped to analyze the other students at the same time.  
Behind her sat a girl with long black hair, which didn´t really look like a “happy-person”, but more like a “I´ll kill you in minute if you dare o talk to me”-person. * Note to myself: don´t talk to her, she´ll probably eat you up in one bite. * Next she looked back at the girl she recognized first when she entered the hall and searched for a desk. That girl was still writing really concentrated like her life depended on this paper. She didn´t speak to anyone since Alex sat down. 

* She is probably a really introverted person, but with a beautiful wide world of ideas inside her head, she is just to afraid to show., Alex thought, or she just doesn´t like people at all. *  
Maybe that girl felt pretty lonely and just waited for someone to speak up to her first, maybe she even waited for Alex to speak to her.  
The moment Alex opened her mouth to ask the girl what she was writing on, the professor rushed into the hall and stole her breath and heartbeat within a minute...

 

°end of chapter°

 

Beca really didn´t want to go to university. It was her dad who forced her to. There was just no motivation for studying, she didn´t even needed it for her dream job and she also just hated people. Especially that people who thought they were cool by running around campus singing or being in a stupid club. That just wasn´t really her thing, she had never liked any social activity ever before. She really just   
couldn´t think of forcing herself to participate at those stupid things, nor wasting her time in classes that made her fall asleep at her table. It didn´t matter that she got a scholarship, because her father was a professor. It didn´t matter that she wouldn´t have to be home with that stupid stepmonster. And it also didn´t matter that her grades were pretty good in High school and that she would be throwing them away. None of that mattered to her that first day at Barden. She just wanted to leave everything and run away to wherever life would take her. Everything was better than this.

From you make everything worthy.  
Written by AcaAva01 in 2015


	2. we are all superheroes, aren't we?

Sara´s p.o.v.

She really had nothing to motivate her going to her first journalism class, even her head told her to go straight back to bed by aching like shit. Sara knew she really shouldn´t drink that much, especially because she had to stay in college and not get kicked out just to stay away from her stupid parents. On the other hand it was also nearly impossible to stop her from doing it, she got used to it.   
And who did she had to even care about what she was doing to herself? 

The big campus was completely empty when she walked around, to find the old ugly building where the classes took place. Sara looked like a tourist, from the big black sunglasses to the just bought starbucks latte and the campus map in her hand.  
All the other students were already in their classes * I mean who is late at their first day? * Or still sleeping, because they were either way skipping or had a class at afternoon or something.  
Just Sara was the dumb one who was so late, that not even the last sprinters were still running over campus.

She stopped in front of the door that divided her from the anger that would probably come out of her professor´s mouth. She could already hear her professor speaking (nearly screaming) strictly to his students. Sara really didn´t want to go in, but still she took a deep breath, ran her hand through her blonde hair and opened the really heavy door.

“Miss Lance, you`re late.”, was the first thing Sara got to hear from her journalism professor.

* At least he already knows my name... *, Sara thought, grinning.  
“Oh, I feel honored that you´ve been waiting for me, sir.”, she countered with a bright smile and earned some laughs from the class.   
She turned around, knowing the professor was too shocked to say another word, and sat down at the only free table, next to a blonde girl with glasses. She could see the professor shaking his head behind her.

“Oh my god! That was so cool. You showed him who the boss is right at the first contact and you didn´t even know how he would react. But just so you know, he had been bossing us around right during the first twenty minutes you have missed, he really deserves to be commanded. By the way, my name is Kara.”, she held out her hand to shake Sara´s.

* Oh wow, this girl talks much... * , Sara thought. All Sara said was a short “hello.”, but didn´t turn around or even considered taking her hand, she would rather watch the professor getting his shit back together.   
* That girl can be lucky she even got to talk to me.* Sara knew she probably had to make friends at that place, even just to survive,but she hadn´t had the motivation to make social contact yet.

 

>\---<  
Ava´s p.ov.

Class was the actual horror. The last time Ava had been that scared before was at the prom night, when her dad forced her to go to the dance, even when she begged him to let her stay home. 

* “But it´s your last chance. Your last school dance. Come on, I´ve always dreamed of my little girl in a prom dress. Do it for me.”, he would´ve said. Ava woud´ve felt really bad back then, because she didn´t want to make her dad feel sad or that he had to miss something that mattered that much to him just because of his anxious daughter. “But Dad, I´m scared.”, she would´ve said.  
“Ava, please.”, Tears in his eyes. “Okay, I´ll try. For you.”, Ava had stared at her feet, because she couldn´t see her dad that sad. *

There were so many people around her in class, talking to each other, she could feel them looking at her, maybe also talking about her. She was so scared to do anything wrong, to embarrass herself.   
At least their teacher was really nice, she was a real author and you could tell that she knew what she was doing.   
She introduced herself as Maggie Sawyer and already said that they could call her “Maggie”, when she entered the room. Maggie had taken the same writing class at this college when she was young and that gave her the courage to write her own book.   
That all made Ava feel a bit better, because Maggie knew how it was to be a Freshman and to be a young author.  
Also the other people were probably as weird as she was, because writers were always weird. Sadly that didn´t make Ava´s situation any better.

On her left side was sitting a girl with short brown hair, that really looked like a nice person, but of course Ava was to anxious to even say “hello” to her, even tho she gave her a warm smile, when she looked at her.  
At their first lesson they all had to introduce themselves, which made Ava really panicking, because she hated talking in front of strangers. It took her three years to even lift her finger in school.  
Ava had to go to the bathroom right after she introduced herself to not to break down in a panic attack. 

“My name is Ava Sharpe. I love writing and I mostly write Fanfiction, but I would like to try something new.”  
Ava was really proud of that Fanfiction part, because she never admitted that she was writing Fanfiction to anyone ever before. Especially not that she was writing about Bechloe, because once she would have revealed that she was writing about a lesbian couple, everyone would assume her being gay (that was true at that point, but of course she wouldn´t want anyone to know) and they would have bullied her. That happened one time after she told her best friend back in high School and that girl just stopped talking to her in Junior year, because she was sure Ava had a crush on her, even tho she wasn´t really her type. 

The only reason she was telling the class that she wrote fanfiction was that they seemed like they would understand and that some of them probably started with Fanfiction too.   
Still it was hard for her and besides that panic attack after, she was really proud of herself.

Before it was Ava´s turn, the girl with the short brown hair next to her said that she was Alex Danvers and that she was writing poetry. Ava immediately imagined herself reading that girl´s poetry, because she just loved poetry, it helped her understand the world better. She already wanted to ask the girl if she could read some of her work, if there wasn´t this voice in her head holding her back. 

When she came back from the bathroom, the class had already become an exercise (It had taken Ava around ten minutes to calm down). She just sat back on her chair, without asking Maggie what she had to do, while the professor didn´t even notice that she had been gone nor that she came back. She just sat there and stared at the blank page on her screen, hoping the exercise would just come up on her screen, while all the other students were working on something that seemed pretty important for their grades. 

* I´ll ask the teacher later or just write her an email. *, Ava thought, defending herself, even tho she knew she would never ask Maggie.   
Ava shook, when Alex turned around and (finally) spoke to her: “You´re Ava, right? Hi, my name is Alex. Do you know what you have to do? Because you somehow seem like you don´t.”

She gave Ava a warming smile which calmed her a bit after she nearly screamed because she didn´t expect anyone to help her.   
“Oh hi.”, she said, trying to sound like she wasn´t scared as fuck. “Yeah, I´m Ava. Eeeh I just went to the restroom when you got the exercise and I didn´t want to interrupt anyone, you all seemed so concentrated.”

“I can understand that, they all seem like they´re already diving into their own world, even tho we have about two weeks to finish this. We have to write a poem or a short story that describes ourselves or our way of seeing things somehow. Deadline is the tenth of September, so no stress.”

“Oh okay, thank you so much for telling me!”, Ava said honestly grateful. “Without you I would still be staring at a blank screen in a week.”

Ava turned back to the screen, when Alex gave her a short “no prob.” and turned back to her own work as well. Ava didn´t really know how to put herself into words, she had always written about other people, characters that weren´t even her own. 

\+ Who am I? Nothing more than a weird and anxious fangirl, but who wants to read about someone like that? * When she thought about what she liked the first things that came to her mind were Bechloe and writing, but that wasn´t really a great plot for a short story.   
Ava was relieved, when Maggie ended the lesson with a little reminder: “So, that´s it for today. Remember you exercises and never stop writing. See you tomorrow at 10am.”  
Ava nearly ran out of the room, she was so happy tat she hadn´t had any more classes that day what meant that she could write fanfiction until night. And creative writing went way better than she had expected, because she didn´t embarrass herself and she felt like she already found a future friend in Alex. As long as she wouldn´t mess it up with her like she did with her roommate.   
Kara wan´t there when she came back to their room so that Ava just turned up the Pitch Perfect soundtrack and screamed along to Just the way you are. She just needed that sometimes.   
She started writing on the next chapter of her fanfiction, she had already had about ten notifications of people begging her to post the next chapter.

 

>\---<

 

Alex` p.o.v.

Alex was laying in bed three hours after her last class and just couldn´t stop thinking about her creative writing professor, or Maggie how they should call her. That way her eyes sparkled when she smiled just didn´t want to vanish from her mind. It was strange, because a woman had never had such a big influence on Alex´ thoughts, not even a boy had had her freaking out that much.   
She blinked and blinked but that sparkling eyes just didn´t stop showing up behind her eyes.   
She just seemed perfect to Alex, she already had accomplished Alex´ biggest dreams by publishing a poetry book and leading a freaking creative writing class in a modern and popular college.  
Maybe she couldn´t stop thinking about her, because Alex just wished she was like her or she wanted to be like her. Like a really important role model. An idol that was stealing her sleep.   
* It´s nothing more than that... * Alex thought * You just want to be as awesome as she is. She´s just that dream you and is really beautiful as well. *  
She put her headphones in to hopefully find some sleep by listening to her favorite songs from Jessie J.   
Her roommate probably wasn´t coming home until early the next morning so she wouldn´t have to talk to her and her sister was probably busy watching her favorite movies or something.

Alex woke up early that morning, hearing something that sounded like crying from the opposite side of the room. She hadn´t heard Sara coming back that night, so she was pretty confused by hearing her cry, also because she didn´t expect her to even be able to be soft.   
“Sara, are you okay?”, she asked, not expecting an answer .  
“none of your business.”, was all she got as an answer.   
For a moment she just thought about turning around and going back to sleep, but Alex was such an empathetic person, she couldn´t let someone cry (even if it was the meanest person she knew) without helping that person.   
She just stood up, went over to Sara´s bed, sat down next to her and just put her arm around her.   
She knew that hugging helped, no matter how bad it was or who was hugging you, it was always a cure. Alex could feel her black tshirt getting wet from Sara´s tears, but she didn´t care and Sara   
didn´t push her aside. They sat like that for a long time.

 

°end of chapter°

 

I believe in superheroes.  
What if all the stories are true?  
I don´t mean the flying or the laser eyes.  
No, I mean the saving.  
Because everyone of us has saved someone  
and even if it´s just ourselves.  
Saving.  
This is what heroes do.  
We are all superheroes.

-aren´t we? 

Written by Alex Danvers  
on 2nd September 2018


	3. they will carry you.

Chapter 3

Alex´ p.o.v.

When Alex woke up again that day, Sara was already getting dressed, she seemed totally fine.  
Alex didn´t mind not knowing what happened, she didn´t even think about asking her. She knew Sara needed someone and that was all she needed to know. The fact that they hugged wasn´t making them friends or anything close to that.   
She didn´t even ask her about going to the cafeteria together for breakfast, she just laid in bed and waited for Sara to leave the room.   
Then she got ready herself and went to the cafeteria to meet with her sister Kara for breakfast like they had decided before leaving home.   
“I know we both want to be independent, but we still need to stay in contact, Kara.”, Alex would´ve said.   
“But we can´t just hang out together all the time. People would think we´re glued together or something.”   
Alex would´ve felt hurt then, even tho she knew her sister didn´t mean it like that.   
“But we always did everything together. What if we can´t find any friends? Who will I share my funny stories with then? Who will I read my poetry to?”, she would´ve begged.  
“We can meet for breakfast or dinner or whatever every day if you want, as long as our timetables fit.”, Kara would´ve said, giving her a warm smile, because she was never fighting with anybody.

And the timetables fit so they were meeting for the first time after they left their parents´ car, that day for breakfast. Alex wondered if Kara even remembered they´re deal or if she would be coming alone. If she had already made friends, because she was such a nice person to everyone. She always talked to strangers, no shame-feeling.   
If she even cared about Alex enough to leave her new awesome friends.  
Alex stopped thinking when she saw the blonde haired girl sitting at a big large table completely alone.

“Hey, sis. I thought you wouldn´t be alone, because you would´ve already made about a thousand friends!”, Alex said jokingly and fell into the chair next to Kara, giving her a warm hug.   
“Do you really think I am that popular?”, she laughed and hugged her sister back.   
“Not really, I just thought you would´ve already talked to everyone in every class so that they couldn´t get away from you.”, Alex joked. 

“HAHA Alex, of course!”, she said sarcastically and shook her head, so that her blonde curls whipped up and down with every shake. Kara just always looked so happy and positive, maybe just because of her cute blondie look.   
“Should I get us something to eat? I´m lowkey starving.”, Alex asked her little sister and already jumped up to go to the little buffet.   
“yeah, same as always please.”

They´ve always had a little breakfast ritual in their family, while Alex always ate bread with something like marmalade or nutella, while Kara was such a healthy person that always ate muesli with fresh fruits or something like that. So Alex took a muesli bowl with milk and apples, which was the only healthy choice that was available at the spare buffet and for herself she took a white bread and put chocolate cream over it without any butter, Alex hated butter.

When Alex came back to their table, Kara was already talking to a cute looking guy that probably just came across the table when Kara randomly spoke up to him.   
Alex sat down on the bench across from Kara and put the food on the table.  
“Let me guess, he seemed like he needed someone to talk to?”, Alex said when the guy was gone.

“First, thank you for bringing the food. And second can you please stop saying I would talk to every fucking stranger that comes my way? And just so you know, he wasn´t a stranger, he is in my English class and asked about our homework.”, she said, lifting her shoulders and shaking her head, but like always still smiling, even tho she raised her voice like she was angry.

“okay, okay. I take it back, but now tell me, how was your first day on college? I can´t wait to hear about your new friends and your first college party!”, Alex said pretty excited and nearly clapping her hands. She knew her life was boring compared to her sister´s, so she needed her stories to feel more alive.

“To be honest, it wasn´t nearly as exciting as you think right now. I just went to class yesterday and I didn´t even go to a party, because I was so exhausted that I fell in bed right after class.”, she said, but didn´t seem like she regretted having a “boring” first day. 

“oh wow, this makes me feel surprisingly normal right now, because I did exactly the same. We have three more years of college experience ahead, I don´t think we should do everything right on the first week. We would probably get bored of it already in the first semester.”, Alex said happily, because she somehow hoped that her sister would be like her.  
“How´s your roommate?”, asked Kara to change the subject.

“Oh god, don´t ask about her! She´s a total mess. We talked about three words and I already know that she gives a damn about everything and that she doesn´t leave one party out. I wonder if she will even make it through college.”, Alex said jokingly, but felt bad for talking about Sara like that behind her back right after. Alex knew Sara wasn´t that bad, she had seen her vulnerable point and she knew that there was more behind it, but Sara probably wanted other people to think about her as a party girl. Even tho she was just talking to her sister and Sara had been a total bitch to her, she couldn´t stop feeling bad.

“gosh, she sounds like a total bitch. Well, my roommate is a bit quiet and weird, but seems like a really nice person. She even likes Bechloe, I mean wow, I didn´t expect THAT. Oh and maybe you know her, she´s in creative writing class. Her name is Ava Sharpe.”, Kara introduced her own roommate. Alex face lighted up when she thought about that girl that was totally living in her own world, she just had seemed like a typical writer.   
“I´ve met her. I think she has so much inside of her, but she´s just afraid to show. A typical writer I mean... And good to know that she was writing Bechloe, I was totally wondering what she was so focused on. “

“omg, I would LOVE to read her fanfiction, but she didn´t let me when I came to our room, but I´m sure it´s online somewhere...”  
“You´ve probably already read it, you total weirdo!”, Alex said laughing. There had been a time when her sister didn´t leave her room for about two weeks, because she had been reading herself through all the available Bechloe Fanfics on FansforFans and Alex was sure that she was still not missing a chapter on the good ones. 

“probably... But I would just like to know that it´s from her, you know? So that I could thank her for creating something awesome. I just think she deserves it.”  
“i´m sure you´ll be her co-reader one day. She just has to get to know you better to open up to you.”, Alex said, squeezing her sister´s shoulder. “Buuut, I really have to go to creative writing now. Dinner today?”

“okay, see you later sis. I´ll text you about time and stuff. Have fun!”, Kara said and gave Alex a quick hug, before Alex hurried out of the hall. She didn´t want to be even nearly late again, even tho Maggie wouldn´t come on time today either.

On her way to the class, Alex thought about the relationship to her sister. When they were younger the used to talk about everything, but even tho Alex would´ve liked to tell her, she could´t imagine telling her sister about Maggie now. It was just all superficial now, no real deep things, no real feelings. Of course they told each other, when they had a crush on a boy or so, so they could be freaking out together, but it was something else to talk about REAL feelings. Like the feeling that Alex could be gay. 

She was still holding on to the “could”, but it still wouldn´t leave her mind. Maybe kara could´ve helped her sorting things out, but she could´ve also started making jokes about it, like she always did about everything.

For example that time, when Alex had thought she has a crush on that boy from summer camp.   
She literally had thought he had felt something for her, because he hugged her sometime. But the thing about it was that her sister had kept saying things like “awww, my big little sis is in loooooove.” or “go get him girl.” All that Alex had wanted was an advise, something useful that could´ve helped her figuring out she had never had feelings for him.   
In the end that boy turned out as totally gay and so she started talking to him about her feelings, at least until his dad found out about his sexuality and sent him to military camp.

Alex was ten minutes early when she entered the hall, at least Ava was already there typing into her MacBook concentrated.  
She went straight to her desk with a short “hey.” and started writing on a new poem.

Her heart nearly stopped when the brown haired teacher entered the room smiling. She was wearing a black skinny jeans with a leather jacket that day. Alex couldn´t stop herself from scanning the woman´s body from her deep eyes to her dirty doc martens.  
She took off the jacket as soon as she laid her backpack on the desk in front of her and revealed a way to skinny top Alex could see her abs through. She was pretty muscular and probably went to the gym, which made Alex imagine her train in sport leggings right in that moment.  
Of course Alex couldn´t even follow Maggie´s words, because her mind was totally somewhere else. They probably just had to continue on their exercise and Alex had already finished her first poem and she wasn´t looking on writing more than about three so she had more than enough time. When Maggie left the room to leave them working on their stuff, Alex shook off her thoughts and tried to put her mind back together. She couldn´t even bring a word to paper that wasn´t about Maggie´s wavy hair or her gorgeous eyes.

>\---<

 

Sara´s p.o.v.

It had been a though night for Sara and even tho she would never admit it, Alex had really helped her with that hug. She had never really had real friends except for people she went on parties with just to have a drinking-buddy, but no one that would´ve been there for her when she needed someone. She always sorted everything out with her best friend the bottle or just ate it up and did what she had to do. It felt like those things would be changing now, Sara felt like she was save when she was with Alex, even tho they barely talked yet. And she had the feeling that she could start talking to her one day, that she could get better due to that, that maybe Alex could become something like a friend to her. Of course that wouldn´t happen immediately, but for the first time in her life, Sara felt like it wasn´t impossible that someone really cared about her.

That morning she left the dorm, but she couldn´t force herself to go to class because she still felt like she shit and she looked like she went under a bulldozer. Her eyes were still swollen from crying and her head hurt pretty bad.   
She went to the first cafe, got a coffee and just spent the whole morning, just so she won´t have to go anywhere else that day. 

She just tried to push aside what happened somehow and calmed down a bit, she just didn´t want to seem weak to anybody around. She had never been weak, otherwise she wouldn´t be able to get through all that shit.   
After some hours, maybe more, she headed back to her room, expecting Alex to be there, so they could maybe get to know each other better. If Sara was able to put her pride aside for a moment and open up to someone. 

When Sara entered the room, the brown haired girl was laying on her bed, staring at a blank paper and biting on a pencil. She seemed concentrated and for a moment Sara thought about just leaving again. Like she always did, escaping the situation.   
“Heyy!”, she said instead. 

“oh hi.”, Alex said and looked up from her paper. “I thought you were in class...”  
She seemed confused, Sara thought about not telling the truth, but then remembered she wanted to be more honest and if she wanted to be her friend she had to.

“I actually didn´t go to class today.”, Sara said, lifting her shoulders as if she didn´t give a shit. She knew Alex was reading her, seeing through her walls of jokes and not giving a shit.   
“I know we don´t really know each other, but I am here if you want to talk.” 

Alex was such a kind person and Sara regretted giving her such a bad impression about herself at their first meet. She didn´t deserve to be treated like Sara treated her at first.  
For a moment Sara wanted to make a sarcastic comment or something to escape the situation, but instead she just nodded and sat down on her bed.

She didn´t know if she was ready to really talk to her about everything, but they could start with something like a smalltalk maybe.  
“How was your day?”, Sara asked, because she couldn´t think of anything else to say.  
“Well, it has been pretty good so far. Creative writing was chill, even if I can´t think of another poem to hand in. Thank you for asking.”, Alex answered, leaving an awkward silence between them. Sara would feel dumb if she asked another question and Alex was probably afraid to ask her about anything private.

“Do you wanna go to dinner with me today maybe?”, Sara asked instead, hoping to bond with her. She still didn´t know if it would work out and if they would even talk, but it was something like a start.  
“If you don´t have a problem with my sister Kara joining us, I would be happy about it.”  
“Just tell me when you want to leave.”

 

°end of chapter°

 

;living;  
giving up  
your life into another´s hands  
they will carry you.

-or even yourselves hands 

written by Alex Danvers   
on 13th December 2017


End file.
